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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28327251">Dimitri's Mall Santa Gig</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Clara/pseuds/Lady_Clara'>Lady_Clara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, Mall Santa Claus, Shopping Malls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:28:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,518</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28327251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Clara/pseuds/Lady_Clara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimitri and his friends volunteer to run the Santa’s Village display at their local mall with Dimitri taking on the role of Santa Claus. Things don’t go as planned, especially when another Santa shows up to take his place on the throne.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dimitri's Mall Santa Gig</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the silliest thing I have ever written, but I hope it can bring you some holiday cheer!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being a mall Santa wasn’t exactly on Dimitri’s list of life goals. Malls are crowded and noisy – the kind of environment that gets too overwhelming after a few hours. But he wanted to do something special for the local children, and his friends suggested that volunteering at the Santa’s Village display in Fhirdiad Mall would be a great way to bring joy to the community.</p><p>Besides, his father spent many Christmases donning Santa’s red and white ensemble to the delight of children before he passed away. Carrying on his legacy could be a way to honor him.</p><p>This is how Dimitri finds himself dressed as Santa Claus, sitting on a red velvet throne in front of a life-size (albeit fake) gingerbread house in the middle of a bustling Fhirdiad Mall during the holidays.</p><p>An enthusiastic Ingrid and a reluctant Felix who needs community service hours manage the line dressed as toy soldiers. Annette and Mercedes made adorable elf costumes for each other and are the ones going in and out of the gingerbread house retrieving gifts for the kids. Sylvain and Ashe are in charge of serving hot cocoa at the exit. To Dimitri’s right is Dedue, who today is the Nutcracker Prince, fake sword and all. Dimitri thinks he looks every bit like a real prince standing tall and regal beside him.</p><p>“Here’s your first visitor, Santa,” Ingrid calls over. “Her name is Ruth.”</p><p>“Santa!!!!” A little girl with pigtails sprints over to Dimitri and leaps into his lap. Thank goodness Dimitri is solid muscle, otherwise she would have toppled them both right over. Dedue clearly anticipated the same – his hands are out in front of him like he was ready to catch them.</p><p>The girl’s mother, holding many shopping bags in her hands, appears frazzled. “I’m sorry, she was just very excited to meet you.”</p><p>“I’m honored,” Dimitri says. “Ruth, it’s nice to meet you. What would you like for Christmas?”</p><p>Ruth’s tiny arms hug as much of him as they can. “You have a big chest, Santa. I want to sleep on it. Can I have <em>you </em>for Christmas?”</p><p>Dimitri is very perplexed by the request and has no idea how to respond to it. He turns to Dedue hoping he might have an answer, but his husband is pursing his lips trying not to laugh. He notices Dimitri looking at him with uncertainty and decides to help him out.</p><p>“I am sorry, Ruth,” Dedue begins. “Santa is my roommate, so he would not be able to go live with you since he already lives with me.”</p><p>Ruth whips her head towards Dedue so fast that her pigtails nearly whack Dimitri’s fake beard right off. “No fair!” she says. “You get to sleep with him?”</p><p>Now it’s Dedue’s turn to fall silent as Sylvain bursts into laughter in the background. Dimitri is sure his face is as red as his outfit.</p><p>Mercedes swoops in to save the day. “How about a Santa figure that you can sleep with?” she asks Ruth.</p><p>“Hmm…okay!”</p><p>“Great!” Annette beams. “While we’re getting your present, Mom can take a photo of you with Santa.”</p><p>Ruth’s mother hurriedly puts down her shopping bags and gets out her phone.</p><p>“Wait!” Ruth exclaims. “I want the Nutcracker man to be in the picture, too. He’s special because he’s Santa’s roommate.”</p><p>Dimitri smiles up at Dedue. “Yes, he is special for many reasons.”</p><p>Dedue blushes and walks into the frame, putting one hand on the throne and one hand on Santa’s shoulder. Ruth’s mother snaps the photo with a click of her phone.</p><p>Annette skips over to Ruth with a Santa action figure. “Here you go! Merry Christmas!”</p><p>Ruth jumps off Dimitri’s lap and hugs the smaller version of Santa Claus. “Thanks! I love it!”</p><p>Ruth and her mother head out after Sylvain hands them some cups of cocoa. Ashe winks at Dedue from behind the table. “Santa’s roommate, huh?”</p><p>“That is factually accurate,” Dedue states.</p><p>A commotion at the roped-off line of families diverts their attention.</p><p>“No dogs allowed!” Dimitri hears Felix shout.</p><p>Confused, Dimitri looks towards the front of the line and sees Felix and Ingrid blocking a purple-haired man with expensive looking sunglasses (why is he wearing sunglasses indoors?) holding a leash. At the end of the leash is a Yorkie terrier dressed in a giant red hair bow and a festive green sweater with jingle bells.</p><p>The man dramatically whips off his sunglasses, and to his surprise, Dimitri recognizes him as his old high school classmate Lorenz. “I’ll have you know that Goldie is a purebred and is <em>much</em> better behaved than most of the children lined up here,” Lorenz claims.</p><p>“Santa’s Village is for <em>children</em>, not <em>dogs </em>and their obnoxious owners,” Felix retorts.</p><p>Lorenz pouts and juts his chin over at the cocoa station. “You claim to not allow dogs, yet I see Sylvain is employed here.”</p><p>Sylvain lets out a laugh and finger-guns at Lorenz. “Good one, buddy.”</p><p>“Sorry, Lorenz, but the rules are clear,” Ingrid says. “In my role as a toy soldier, my duty is your removal.”</p><p>“Felix, Ingrid,” Dimitri calls out before things get worse. “It’s not a problem. Please grant them entry into Santa’s…into my village.”</p><p>Visibly frustrated, Ingrid and Felix step aside as Lorenz shoulders his way past them. He places his Yorkie on Santa’s lap and peers into Santa and the Nutcracker’s faces. “…Dimitri? …Dedue?”</p><p>Dimitri nervously chuckles, checking to see if any kids are within earshot. He doesn’t want to ruin their Christmas by revealing he’s not the real deal.</p><p>“It’s me, Santa Claus.” He attempts to wink at Lorenz, but then remembers he can’t technically wink since he lost an eye during a hockey game gone wrong.</p><p>No matter – Lorenz seems to go along with it. “Go on, Goldie,” he tells his dog. “Tell Santa what you want for Christmas.”</p><p>Goldie the Yorkie looks up at Dimitri and produces a tiny bark.</p><p>“I…see,” Dimitri says.</p><p>Annette clasps her hands together. “I have the perfect toy for her!”</p><p>“We’ll be right back,” Mercedes informs.</p><p>The two disappear into the gingerbread house and emerge with a stuffed animal reindeer.</p><p>“A golden reindeer for our little Goldie,” Mercedes states.</p><p>Goldie sniffs it and seems pleased, which pleases her owner.</p><p>“Thank you,” Lorenz says. “We’ll be going now. There’s a holiday sale at Burberry that is not to be missed.”</p><p>He walks past the hot cocoa station without a second glance.</p><p>Dimitri feels exhausted already, but there’s still a whole line of children waiting for their visit with Santa, and he can’t let them down.</p><p>“Santa,” Ingrid calls from the entrance. “Derrick is ready for his visit.”</p><p>A young boy who can’t be more than six years old shyly makes his way over to Dimitri. On his shirt is a very familiar figure: the pop star Dorothea, yet another one of Dimitri’s former classmates. She hit it big in the music industry shortly after graduating. She always had a big heart. It makes Dimitri happy to know she’s doing so well.</p><p>“Um…am I on the nice list this year?” he asks in a soft voice once Dimitri lifts him onto his lap.</p><p>“Of course! What is it that you wish to have this Christmas?”</p><p>The boy looks into his hands. “Can I please have the new Dorothea Barbie?”</p><p>“An excellent choice!” Mercedes says.</p><p>“Us elves made a special one just for you!” Annette adds.</p><p>The boy looks up at Dimitri with excitement. “Thank you, Santa! Thank you, elves!"</p><p><em>This </em>is why Dimitri volunteered to do this job. To see the smiling faces on the children, to do what he could to make their Christmas special.</p><p>“You know, I’ve met Dorothea before,” he tells Derrick.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>“Yes. She is a very kindhearted person.”</p><p>“People say she’s fake. It makes me sad.”</p><p>“I can tell you with certainty that her kindness is very much real.”</p><p>The boy’s expression turns very serious. “Is she on the nice list this year?”</p><p>Dimitri smiles. “I can assure you she is.”</p><p>Derrick’s expression turns to a happy one again, just in time for Annette and Mercedes to bring him a Dorothea doll complete with a miniature microphone. His parents take a photo of him smiling and holding the toy on Dimitri’s lap, and then off they go.</p><p>As time goes on and more and more children give their wishes to Santa, Dimitri begins to take pride in his job. It’s a wonderful opportunity to be able to make kids happy. The world could use some cheer, and he considers himself lucky to be in the position where he can give it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything is going well until someone stands at the perimeter of Santa’s Village and asks, sternly, “What is the meaning of this?”</p><p>The source of the familiar voice is someone in a Santa suit and beard identical to Dimitri’s. The person is standing next to a man in an elf costume that does nothing to mitigate the menacing look on his face.</p><p>Dimitri should be the one asking the questions. What is the meaning of his stepsister Edelgard and her associate Hubert showing up here?</p><p>Dedue immediately draws his plastic sword. “I will not let them ruin Christmas for the children.”</p><p>Dimitri has to lower Dedue’s arm. He gets up and walks to the two standing behind one of the ropes. “Edelgard, please, we must not cause a disturbance. We will upset the families.”</p><p>“Are there <em>two</em> Santas?” he hears a child in line ask.</p><p>“Hubert and I had a shift scheduled for one o’ clock,” Edelgard states matter-of-factly. “It’s currently one o’ clock.”</p><p>“You signed up to be a mall Santa as well?” Dimitri doesn’t remember her telling him she planned to volunteer here.</p><p>Edelgard harrumphs. “I owed the president of the mall a favor. You remember what happened five years ago.”</p><p>How could Dimitri forget? Edelgard and Hubert had rallied a bunch of Hot Topic employees to join their illegal flashmob in an effort to promote what was once their heavy metal band, the Black Eagles. It had happened to coincide with the opening of Santa’s Village that year. The mall’s president, Rhea, was not too pleased.</p><p>“Of course, with the mall president’s poor management skills, they probably messed up our schedules,” Edelgard continues.</p><p>“Collect your belongings and vacate the throne,” Hubert commands. “It belongs to her now.”</p><p>Dimitri feels a hand on his shoulder. “The manager is here,” Dedue warns him as he steps forward to shield Dimitri from Hubert. His husband has never been too fond of this longtime colleague of Edelgard’s.</p><p>In a flurry of green, the mall’s manager Seteth strides over. “I am sorry, there was an urgent matter I had to attend to. Apparently, my assistant manager Manuela thought now was an appropriate time to scarf down eggnog and sing karaoke at the Seiros Grill. Which, mind you, does <em>not </em>offer karaoke and is indeed a family establishment.” The scene of the two Santas in front of him seems to give him pause, and he halts his explanation.</p><p>“Did you fail to assign our shifts properly?” Edelgard asks.</p><p>Seteth narrows his eyes at her. “I do not ‘fail’ at my job. I believe it was the assistant manager’s duty to schedule you, which might explain this current predicament.”</p><p>“The children are going to inquire about what they’re seeing,” Dimitri says quickly. “I fear they will question whether or not Santa Claus is real, and we cannot allow that kind of panic into their hearts.”</p><p>Seteth appears to think for a moment. “Alright. Dimitri, Dedue – you two are relieved of your duty for now. I ask that you stay in the gingerbread house to make the next transition easier. Edelgard and Hubert, take their positions, and then when you’re done, go into the gingerbread house so Dimitri and Dedue can start their next shift. This way, there will be no more than one Santa seen at a time, and the children won’t be scarred for life.”</p><p>“Seeing <em>him</em>, they might still be,” Felix says as he points at Hubert.</p><p>“Now, now,” Ashe placates. “Let’s all get along.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dimitri and Dedue sit side-by-side in the gingerbread house drinking cocoa and leaning their backs against the flimsy cardboard walls.</p><p>“Thank you for agreeing to help me in this endeavor,” Dimitri says as he takes his itchy beard and hat off. He realizes he’s grateful to have a peaceful and quiet break. “I truly appreciate it.”</p><p>Dedue grins. “I could not let Santa down. I swore an oath that I would protect him when I became his <em>roommate</em>.”</p><p>Dimitri laughs into Dedue’s shoulder. “You are the best roommate a Santa could ask for.” He puts a hand on Dedue’s cheek and kisses him. Now Dimitri is <em>very </em>grateful they’re on break.</p><p>Dedue pulls him into his lap. “You have asked everyone else, yet you have not given your own answer: What would you like for Christmas?”</p><p>Dimitri answers honestly. “With you, I have everything I have ever wanted.”</p><p>Dedue’s response is to kiss him sweetly, and it’s so nice that Dimitri hardly realizes they’re backing up too much into the cardboard wall. Before they know it, the entire gingerbread house collapses, and there they are kissing under the mall’s harsh fluorescent lights in plain view of everyone visiting Santa’s Village.</p><p>Appropriately, <em>I </em><em>Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus </em>starts playing over the mall’s loudspeakers.</p><p>And Dimitri realizes he and Dedue are hardly the most shocking scene right now – Ingrid is shouting at Edelgard over how she lacks the proper ideals a mall Santa should have, Annette and Mercedes are trying to hide the now-exposed toys that were stored in the now-collapsed gingerbread house, Felix is flinging hot cocoa at Hubert while Ashe tries desperately to stop the fighting, and Sylvain is flirting with whoever just arrived to start their shift as Mrs. Claus.</p><p>The manager storms over. “That’s it! Santa’s Village is closed!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The crew ends up ushered into Seteth’s office. The poster above the manager that reads "FHIRDIAD MALL: FREE SMILES WITH EVERY VISIT" belies the deep frown on his face.</p><p>“I appreciate that you all volunteered for this, but I believe the right course of action is to give you the community service hours you’ve earned and ask that you not volunteer here again. Please turn in your costumes before leaving.” Seteth hastily signs a bunch of documents for them and then excuses himself so he can explain to Rhea why their Santa’s Village webpage has suddenly been inundated with strange reviews.</p><p>An awkward silence falls over the group.</p><p>“So…” Sylvain says. “Anyone wanna find Manuela and revive that karaoke session at Seiros Grill?”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It might have been an odd day, but all in all, Dimitri is glad he volunteered as a mall Santa this Christmas season, and he hopes the children who sat on his lap and his friends who helped out today are glad, too. Walking home while sharing headphones with Dedue as <em>All I Want For Christmas Is You</em> plays on Dedue’s phone, he certainly feels holiday cheer.</p>
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